With the current climate extremely positive in allowing it to be ‘ok not to be ok’ with one’s mental health, it got me thinking about how we cope with living on a knife edge and what happens when that precarious balance becomes dislodged and we free-fall.
What catches us? What is our individual security blanket?
In the Human Givens belief structure, we have certain innate needs that we need in our life to facilitate wellbeing. When one or more of these needs are not met, we experience dis-ease, which creates the issues that highlight the negative aspects of ourselves, beginning the journey into freefall.
For some of us, we can recognise the conception of that fall and start to rectify, but for the majority it takes a crash to realise that the fall is already well on the way to the end destination before we take notice. This is human nature.
The ostrich within us likes to think that ‘everything will be ok if we ignore it’. Do we ever learn? Ignorance is not bliss, ignorance is the best way to high blood pressure and depression! Society is gradually waking up to understand that you will not be a leper if you admit that all is not well.
Having battled my own issues from childhood, I appreciate that I can now take a step back and see what was and is causing me pain, it has been easier, although not plain sailing to alter situations to negate my dis-ease. It takes time and courage. It takes patience and a deeper understanding of who you are inside to make change that can bring about a breakthrough.
Not all change does the miracle however, but even small steps add up. We tend not to value the minutiae, but this is the most powerful thing to be able to do.
Family, friends and work colleagues may spot the signs before we have. Those who are able, and it is a skill in itself, will try to help. We may meet key individual’s on our life path who are there to heal, to hold up an ethereal mirror to our behaviours and actions in order to invoke that change. Often these people are our partners. The ones who hold tightly that security blanket. The danger is that we do not open our eyes until it is too late and we miss the blanket and that person can no longer support us.
Life is tough. Let’s be real. But resilience is in all of us, if we unearth it. Mental health problems occur when we cannot adapt to the changes we experience. We need to find other ways to get our innate needs met – we need to set some goals, however small. Success breeds success. It triggers the feel good chemicals in our brains – a body chocolate boost!
Instead of looking in awe at the huge mountain to climb, take a moment to look closer.
The steps are forming that allow you to gradually climb that mountain with sustainability, with purpose and with belief that you can reach the summit.
To prevent freefall, take time to assess, to open your ears to the world around you. What have you not heard? What are you feeling inside? Who can be your blanket? What is your mountain – and what are your goals?
There is never a perfect time to face reality. It is like the conveyor belt on the Generation Game, it keeps bringing new things to remember, some to keep, some to forget, some to smile at (Cuddly Toy!) but it is your battle to win.
It is ok not to be ok. It is ok not to know what to do. It is ok to take time to come to terms with this. Only you will know when it is not ok to ignore the warnings. With the wealth of social media accounts, initiatives led by the royals and celebs, help is readily available.
“Sometimes when you are in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted.” Happy Place.com
Dream BIG, Sparkle MORE, Shine BRIGHTLY