Pain and Pills



Pain… one of the words I really do not like. Whether it is used to note a physical or emotional existence, pain does not emanate joy.  Yet pain is actually our friend. Pain is your body’s way of talking to you, sharing its dis-ease in whatever form is needed for us to stop and listen.

It is a very human trait not to listen straightaway when things are less intense. We often perform the classic procrastination technique until the body says “STOP, NO…I MEAN IT…STOP!” By then something deeper has occurred, albeit injury or wounding to the heart.

I have kindly been given pain this long weekend. Pain that said…”did warn you, been nagging at you for months, now look!” There was no way of ignoring this pain. It hit me and made me tearful. So I stopped. I finally listened as I couldn’t walk or drive….no choice.

I chose not to fill my body with a constant stream of painkillers, I prefer to feel the pain, understand what it is about, then treat accordingly with alternative ways. That is my choice. I listened to a medical professional this morning suggesting I take paracetamol and ibuprofen all the time for five days.. But then to be careful as prolonged use of ibuprofen will cause tummy difficulties. Hm…no thanks! She looked taken aback as I told her I would not be consuming painkillers like sweets and that I would take the edge off if needed to sleep,but that was that. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the fact we have the NHS and am indebted to the people who put their heart and soul into it.  What I don’t like is the fact that it has begun to close its mind to other therapies running alongside it. Life is run by the large pharma companies. Not everything has to be solely about drugs. I appreciate my viewpoint is far from the norm and it is just that, my view. I just don’t believe that swallowing a drug is always the answer. My pain is mine, it is natural, it is telling me to stop. It isn’t telling me to eat a small pharmacy. Sometimes there is another way.  Other ways are not witchcraft and sorcery!

“Your pain is an opportunity to learn about yourself.” Gary Zukav

Dream BIG, Sparkle MORE, Shine BRIGHTLY


One Year


One year, 365 days on….from the day that shook Sussex. The day that began full of anticipation and impending joy for the masses who set off to watch the annual airshow at Shoreham. For me, it was a football day, a glorious day of immense warmth, unbroken sunshine and a possible 3 points.

We all know the outcome, whether you were there, saw the aftermath as I did, or watched the compelling yet grotesque pictures from the television. The day that caused immense pain to many families with the loss of 11 lives.  

There is still no closure for those who mourn. Red tape still binds the truth. It seems that there may not be closure for a very long time. Obviously evidence needs to be collected, and indeed I know a policeman whose job was to go to visit people who had footage on cameras and phones and interview them, but to hear that there still isn’t unity in the sharing of findings makes me cross on behalf of those who are still reliving raw grief.

One thing that is certain is that the people involved and all the emergency service crews who assisted will live on in the hearts and minds of many.  It brought the community #together and that unity has not waned over the year.

At 1.22pm I shall stop and remember.


“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.”


Dream BIG, Sparkle MORE, Shine BRIGHTLY

Size isn’t everything!


So bigger isn’t always best, good things come from small packages. No, I haven’t gone into euphemism overload on this warm Sunday evening. This relates to the medal table so far at the Rio Olympics. I am an Olympophile and I am not afraid to say it! Born in 1972, I have vague recollections of the enigmatic Nadia Comaneci in ‘76, watching Coe and Ovett in ‘80, but it was the Los Angeles games of 1984 that caught the attention of the young me. Scrapbook made, adoration of Daley Thompson, Kathy Cook and Peter Elliott. I was hooked. Plucky Great Britain fighting amongst the big guns. Little old us, we may get something. It was the athletics that grabbed my attention; the glory events.  Over time, elation in rowing with Sir Steve, swimming and gymnastic success, cycling domination have matched and often surpassed our achievements in track and field.

Fast forward to London 2012 and something was in the air; it was a truly amazing games, creating a plethora of memories for the participants and the audience.  Of course a huge amount of money was thrown at sport in order for us to succeed in London; it paid off. With the papers talking about cuts to sports post 2012 there was rightly an expectation that things would tail off…and to some extent they did. There is however, something magical about the Olympics. It inspires, it ignites and excites. It is the pinnacle of a career. We have been spoilt with the multiple titles from so many athletes. And now, the new age has come of age.

To see my little ole country now second in the medal table (at the time of writing) is immense. The pool of talent that we can take from in no way matches the powerhouses of USA, Russia, China et al, yet we have something – something you cannot bottle and hopefully something not taken from one either.  Each and every athlete have dedicated their lives to their cause. It is humbling to listen to their stories. It is simply fantastic.  

Proud to be a Brit!
Dream BIG, Sparkle MORE, Shine BRIGHTLY

What is your legacy?


I like being mortal. It makes you appreciate what is in life in the here and now. It shakes you up and often delivers a ‘slap in the face’, alleviating complacency and promoting self-worth. When life is pronounced extinct, it makes you reflect on the past, memories of that person and your relationship with them. One such recent passing made me think about our legacies.

To depart, in a favoured armchair, in a home adored, surrounded by a wonderful view in a peaceful setting, seems to those of us who have seen loved ones tormented and ravaged by illness, a welcome end to a fulfilled life.

Robin was a quiet soul, an unassuming man, whose love of nature and of helping others shaped his life. It was a life of giving. He imparted his knowledge of healing to many hundreds of students and clients. Underneath that persona was a man of immense determination, meticulous in his work and a luddite with technology until the end.

Yesterday I sat surrounded by other like-minded people in a chapel to celebrate his life. As I looked around at the faces unknown, it struck me that with his other colleagues and friends, this man decided to make a difference. He didn’t just talk about it. He did it. He left behind a successful college, a wealth of notes, remedies and a joy in the hearts of all who knew him. Robin’s legacy is immense.

So what is mine? If life ended now, I would be remembered for teaching many small people, encouraging those who felt that they were not good enough, blatant indoctrination into the ways of Brighton and Hove Albion, hating cheese and a love of cows! But this is my past. My future is to extend that healing of lives into shaping the futures of ‘grown-ups’.  What will be yours? If transition scares you, seek someone who can help. Live in your own happiness.


“We will known forever by the tracks that we leave.”
Dream BIG, Sparkle MORE, Shine BRIGHTLY

Return to your Why


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When all around you is not as it should be, when you feel unfulfilled, when the road less travelled seems daunting, return to that moment – return to your why. Your why will refocus and renergise. Your why will give clarity to the chaos.

My why is framed. A mishmash of scribblings, in a variety of colours, hastily written by my mentor as I spoke from the heart. It is not an essay, it is not a constructed, well thought out piece to be read by anyone else; it is for me.  If you have had THAT lightbulb moment when life excites and words that had been whirring inside your brain for ages suddenly find a home that makes sense, then you understand what I experienced.  It takes someone talented to find their why on their own, it is easy to deviate to the more conscious thoughts. A mentor can nitpick and push to unveil the real meanings in what you say – to leave you almost bare apart from the words on a page, a page that once was just a page but is now your reason for being. Powerful stuff!

And so, with my why re-engaged, it is time to move forward. Never look back!

“Success is knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” John C Maxwell

Dream BIG, Sparkle MORE, Shine BRIGHTLY